La sumisión me hace sentir inferior

Recently the wife of a new minister told me “submission makes me feel inferior, insignificant, and I feel like I am being taken advantage of.” She grew up in a home where she was modeled neither biblical masculinity nor femininity, but now she had the opportunity to live it out in the laboratory of her own life.

It's easy to empathize with this young wife, isn't it? Maybe that's right where you are. I remember having those same feelings when George and I began this pilgrimage together. I felt that it was very unfair for God to call me to follow, obey and submit. And since none of our husbands are absolutely perfect, and many have no idea what biblical masculinity even entails, that makes submission a tough pill to swallow. Sometimes the feelings of disappointment and anger can be overwhelming. But we cannot afford to live our lives based on our feelings, because they are fickle and can be dangerous—leading us to make very poor decisions.

God's Word is full of stories of women who made incredible faith choices, even in the midst of mixed feelings. Can you imagine how that little Jewish girl must have felt when she discovered that she was pregnant by the Spirit of God? She must have suffered moments of great humiliation as she had to endure the condemning looks of the righteous citizens of Nazareth.

And let's not forget Sarah, our model of submission. What must he have felt when Abraham risked his honor to protect his own life? He probably felt inferior, insignificant and perhaps even taken advantage of. But she chose to act moved by faith and her trust in God, instead of being influenced by her feelings. We are challenged to do the same.

The way God shapes His children and conforms them to His image is amazing, isn't it? His desire is for us to be humble and broken before Him. To carry this out in our lives, He places us in relationships that facilitate that molding. For many of us, in our marriages. For others, perhaps this occurs in the context of a difficult workplace—a very strict or demanding boss or supervisor. For others, it may occur in the context of an illness, or in a relationship with an overly harsh parent or a rebellious child. But behind the scenes, it is His hand that is at work to shape our character and make us surrender our will.

During a particularly difficult time in my life, I felt bitter and understood that I was being abused. But at that same time, a copy of the book “ Brokenness ” by Nancy Leigh DeMoss fell into my hands. There he contrasts the characteristics of proud people with the characteristics of those who have been broken. As I read, my heart was exposed:

• Proud people claim rights and have a demanding spirit… Broken people give up their rights and have a meek spirit.
• Proud people become bitter and resentful when they are the victims of harm; they experience emotional 'tantrums'; They hold others captive and are very easily offended... Broken people are quick to forgive those who have hurt them.

Beneath the feelings of bitterness and anger toward my husband and toward God was a proud heart that understood that he deserved a better fate. Today, when those feelings come up again (and they do from time to time), I remind myself to put them through the filter of pride and brokenness. Many times I find that the Lord has more work to do in my heart—and I can only look forward to that day when my breaking and shaping process is complete. Leave us your comments. We want to hear from you!