Haz que tus años de soltería sean significativos

Long years of singleness are a growing trend in our culture. (Whether we like it or not.) For a variety of reasons, many young men and women are not getting married as early as they would like.

Since I am twenty-eight and single, I can relate to the struggles, sufferings, and difficulties that accompany those “unwanted” extra years of singleness. I haven't lived those years perfectly, but I have learned several valuable lessons along the way. Here are my five strategies for living with purpose as a young single woman.

1. Don't see being single as an "intermediate" stage

There have definitely been times in my own life where I have seen these years of singleness as a phase to endure. I have seen marriage as the good things and singleness as the bad. I wanted the single season to end as quickly as possible so I could move on with my life and be a real, purposeful adult. Thank God, He has helped me see that singleness is not an “in-between” stage that I must endure, but rather an important and valuable season of life, worth embracing.

I want to encourage you, young single women, to embrace this season of life. God has you at this stage for a reason. Don't waste these precious years waiting for marriage to come. Take advantage of the time God has given you and make the most of it.

2. Get out of your bubble of single friends

We tend to hang out with people whose lives look like ours. Teenagers hang out with teenager. University students get together with university students. Singles with singles. People married to married people. Those whose children have already left home with those who also have empty nests. The idea of ​​mixing groups and spending time with people at different stages of life feels uncomfortable. Yet God's Word reminds us that we have much to learn as we cross those generational boundaries ( Titus 2:1–5 ).

Instead of restricting your friendship circle to “singles only,” try mixing it up a bit. Spend time investing in those younger than you. Spend time with your grandparents or the elderly couples at your church. Spend time with young families or couples who have been married for several decades. Get out of your normal group of friends, and start investing and benefiting from those at different stages than yourself.

3. Choose gratitude

Nowhere in Scripture do we see that single women are given a free pass to live in discontent and ingratitude. God commands us to give thanks in all things, despite our circumstances:

Always be joyful; pray without ceasing; give thanks in everything, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus. ( 1 Thess. 5:16–18 ).

Gratitude is a decision.

I love how Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth says it in her book, Be Grateful :

I have learned that in every circumstance that comes into my life, I can choose to respond in one of two ways: I can complain or I can worship! And I cannot worship without giving thanks. It is simply not possible. When we choose the path of worship and giving thanks, especially in the midst of difficult circumstances, there is a fragrance, a radiance, that comes out of our lives to bless the Lord and others.

4. Use your years of singleness for the glory of God

As single people, we have enormous potential to make an impact on God's kingdom. We typically have energy, youth, flexibility, and time to be used in ways that married people cannot. Instead of twisting our thumbs waiting for “the one” to come along, let’s live with purpose and intention. Let's take advantage of this incredible and unique stage and live with eternity in mind.

As I say in my new book,  Girl Defined: God's Radical Design for Beauty, Femininity and Identity : " When 'forever' comes, it's only the things you've done for Christ that will truly matter."

Let's choose to be single women who truly live with that in mind.

5. Look for opportunities to serve

There are so many needs in our Churches and communities. There are so many young men and women who need godly examples. There are elderly people in need of love and companionship. There are single moms who could use help in a million different ways. It doesn't take long to find a need. We need to start actively seeking opportunities to serve. Instead of waiting for God to bring opportunities to our door, we can make the effort to love and serve those whom God has placed around us.

I am challenging you to live with purpose and intention during this time. Decide to live each day for the glory of God.